To Become a Knight
by Xelfi4ever
Summary: In the Kingdom of Simec, a land of weak knights, and fariytale cliches, the Slayers attempt to knight a shrimp. Not an acual shrimp, of course. Rated T for language. Thanks, Zelgadis.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello my devoted readers! Xelfi4ever here! I am not dead, I just haven't posted something for a while. I've been working on multiple fics at once, and on top of school, well, you know how that goes. But I have finally completed another fic, and I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter One: Hurray! Another Adventure<strong>

"The kingdom of Simec. Known for its fairytale-like parallels, and a haven for dragons and bandit gangs of every kind," Zelgadis read from a small guidebook. _I have a bad feeling about this,_ the chimera thought with a sigh.

"Really? That's awesome! Now I can finally blow off some steam, and earn a little cash in the process!" a red-headed sorceress stated with a grin and a peace sign. From looking at her you wouldn't suspect that she had defeated four Dark Lords, and saved the world a dozen times over. It was none other then Lina Inverse, the bandit killer and dragon spooker.

"Miss Lina, at least don't blow up this kingdom like you did to the Kingdom of Xoana!" pleaded a petite, white-clad sorceress.

"Of course not Amelia, why in the world would you think I'd do that?" Lina said with a nervous laugh.

"Well, it seems that every time we go somewhere new, you blow it up or cause trouble somehow!" Everyone looked at the blond-haired swordsman, surprised.

"Wow. Jellyfish Brain actually remembered something!" Lina said, amazed.

"Well, well," said a nasally voice. "I guess giving up the Sword of Light did you some good, Gourry. Bravo!" Everyone looked up to see Xellos perched on a tree branch directly above them, clapping.

"Xellos! What in the nine hells are you doing here?" Zelgadis said with an I-will-kill-you tone of voice.

"Oh. Zelly should know by now that…" the monster cocked one eye open, and wiggled his index finger "…that's a secret!"

"Don't you call me that you -"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Come on guys." Lina interrupted with a sigh. "Can't you go at least five minutes without killing each other?" She gestured to the fireball that Zelgadis had in his hand.

"Extinguish that right now Mr. Zelgadis! You're making a scene!" Amelia demanded, pointing at the onlookers.

"Hey! Mind your own business!" Lina snapped at them. They quickly went away.

"Fine." Zelgadis said as he put out the fireball. Xellos jumped down from the tree branch to the ground. "This isn't over, Xellos!" the chimera spat out with venom.

"Oh. Then I'm looking forward to when we can finish it, Zelgadis!" the monster retorted with a smirk. Turning to Lina he asked, "Would you mind if I traveled with you for a little while? I have business in Simec as well."

"Sure thing, Xellos!" the sorceress said with a cat-like grin. "Just don't get in my way when I start killing off bandits and dragons!"

"Don't you worry Lina. The destruction you leave in your wake is a feast for a monster like me!"

All right then, let's get-" Lina was cut off by a loud scream, and the clashing of steel against steel. "Wha- what was that?" she said, shocked.

"Whoever it is, it sounds like they're in trouble!" commented Gourry.

"Let's go, guys!" Lina said as she cast a quick Ray Wind.

"Right behind you, Lina!" Zelgadis said as he cast a Ray Wind of his own. The whole gang followed his example and was soon flying toward the source of the scream, Lina towing a very frightened Gourry behind her.

* * *

><p><strong>Ah, gotta love cliffhangers! I know this chapter is short, but it mainly sets up the scene. What will the Slayers find? Well... That's a secret! ;) Until the next chapter! Oh yeah, review!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello dedicated readers! I finally had time to post another chapter, and here it is! You finally get to meet my second OC.**

**I don't own Slayers.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Two: Lina Saves a Shrimp!<strong>

In a clearing of trees, a young man was cowering and "fighting" a gang of bandits. He was so small that he looked like a child in the armor of his father. It was giving him a major disadvantage against this strong brute squad of bandits. They had him backed up against a tree, weaponless and surrounded. "If all of the Great Army of Simec is like you, then we might as well just take the whole kingdom!" the leader of the bandits said with a laugh. "Now why don't you just give up and give us all your money, or else me and my boys will put a world of hurt on you!" threatened the bandit as he slowly brought his sword to the young man's throat. The man screamed and then…

"FIREBALL!" The explosive attack took them all by surprise, sending roasted bandits flying in all directions. The leader looked up to see a figure silhouetted against the flames. "Why don't you boys go beat up on someone else, okay?" the figure said with a smile. As the flames died down, they saw their opponent, and cowered in fright at the sight of Her. The Bandit Killer, Lina Inverse!

"The power of justice will triumph!" said a voice from above. "ALMEKIA LANCE!"

More bandits went flying. "Ha, victory!" Amelia said with her signature peace sign.

The bandit leader and the surviving bandits tried to flee, but were stopped by a chillingly cold voice coming from behind them. "Beating up on a little kid is too low, even for you bandits," the voice said. "FLARE ARROW!" The rest of the bandits went flying, and the leader looked up to see a face scattered with rocks looking down on him, before he got hit in the head and collapsed.

"Hey guys! You didn't leave any for me!" said an extremely exhausted swordsman.

"Whoops, sorry Gourry! Catch your breath quicker next time!" Lina said as she expertly combed all the bandits for anything valuable.

"Well that's easy for you to say, Lina. You didn't get dragged behind someone's flying spell all the way here!"

"Oh quit your whining Gourry," the sorceress said, standing up. Satisfied that all the bandits had been searched, and leaving nothing behind save for some severe burns and concussions, she turned to the scared young man. "What's your name, shrimp?"

"Miss Lina, I think he's in shock from your destructiveness," observed Amelia as she leapt down from the tree… missed and did a face plant into the ground. "Ow…"

"Um…it's Markus," the young man said. "I'm a knight from the Army of Simec."

"You're a knight?" Lina said in disbelief. "But you're tiny, skinny and couldn't hold your own against a couple of bandits!"

"Lina, I wouldn't call twenty bandits a couple," Zelgadis offered, and got smacked upside his head with a bunny slipper.

"Shut up, Zel! Anyway, what are you doing out here in the forest?" Lina questioned the knight.

"In truth, I'm a rookie who wants to get knighted. So I was training to save a princess locked in a tower, protected by a dragon controlled by a sorcerer. Unfortunately, there hasn't been a scenario like that for years," pouted the knight.

Gourry walked over and stood by Lina with a confused look on his face. "I didn't understand any of that, but it looks like you need help. Well, Lina here will help you!" he said, and got smacked, hard, by the bunny slipper.

"Geez Jellyfish Brain, just because you're my protector, doesn't mean that you need to start bossing me around. The only one person who can do that is my older sister. Besides, what makes you think that I'll help him at all?" Lina yelled.

"I'm not bossing you around!"

"Yeah, you are!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Do they normally argue like this?" Markus asked Zelgadis, as Lina and Gourry fought each other in an anime dust cloud.

"Oh yeah, all the time. Don't worry, it's normal. I'm Zelgadis, by the way."

Lina and Gourry finally stopped fighting, after calling a truce.

"Mr. Markus. I Amelia Will Tesla Saillune, as a defender of justice, shall aid you in your noble quest for knighthood!" yelled the sorceress with her classic peace sign. "Come on, Miss Lina. Help Mr. Markus for the sake of justice!" She got smacked with the slipper.

"Stop that Amelia! If I'll be helping out the shrimp it'll be because of the money, not good will! Speaking about money…Hey shrimp, do you think I can get a reward for saving your butt back there?"

Markus looked up from where he had been conversing with Zelgadis. "I'm sorry, but I don't get paid until the end of the month, Miss."

Lina fell, shocked. "What! You mean that I won't even get paid! Grrrr… Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows…"

"AHH! Someone stop her!" screamed Amelia.

"There goes the city." Xellos said with a sigh.

"I'll start casting the barrier," Zelgadis said casually.

"…By the power you and I posses…" Lina was about to complete the Dragon Slave. Gourry leapt into action, securing Lina's hands and forcing her to stop the destructive spell. "Dra- Ow! Hey! Gourry let me go!" she demanded, as she struggled against the bear hug the tall, muscular swordsman had her in.

"Lina, don't-Ow! Struggle-oof!" Gourry grunted as he got elbowed in the stomach. "I need-oof back-up!" Sighing, Zelgadis walked over to where Gourry was holding Lina, and slugged her with his rock-hard fist.

"Birdies…" Lina said, dazed, as she slumped into Gourry's arms, out cold.

"Geez Zel, you really didn't have to do that, you know," complained Gourry as he picked Lina up, bridal style, and turned to him.

Zelgadis shrugged as everyone let out a sigh of relief.

* * *

><p><strong>Way to go with the first impressions, Lina. (sigh) I'm making fun of the stereotypical fairytale storybooks because I think they would be fun to write about! I wonder if Lina will help Markus out or not? You just have to find out in the next chapter!<strong>

**Don't forget to read and review please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello dedicated readers! Xelfi4ever here with another chapter update! Lina has a plan to knight Markus!...O.o we're doomed.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Three: Lina's Plan: Zelgadis the Evil Sorcerer!<strong>

When Lina came to, she found herself staring into the worried eyes of her protector. "Ow. My head feels like it's been used as a Brass Rackets ball. What happened, Gourry?" she said, standing up.

Before Gourry could say anything, however, he got interrupted by a very angry Zelgadis. "You went completely insane, and almost wiped the Kingdom of Simec off the map with a Dragon Slave! I knocked you out before you could. What were you thinking, Lina?" He said angrily, "You could've killed us all in that blast!"

"Oh. So you're the one that knocked me out, huh Zel?" Lina stated with a murderous look in her eyes. "If that's case then…FIRE-"

"Um, excuse me Miss, are you alright?" Markus interrupted.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine, that happens sometimes." Lina said, extinguishing the fireball and laughing sheepishly.

"Well, I don't think it's funny, Miss Lina. You could've killed a lot of people, and not even my influence as Princess of Saillune would've gotten you out of this one!" Amelia said.

"Well, look on the bright side Amelia! If we were wanted again, then we could dress the guys up as girls, and keep the tradition going of Slayers cross-dressing!" Lina stated.

"Hm…well, I guess that would be okay…" Amelia mused.

"Oh my, Lina. Finally awake, are we?" Xellos said as he phased in. "I must admit that you gave me quite the feast when you overdid yourself back there. Bravo!"

"Why, thank you Xellos! See Amelia? At least someone appreciates what I do." Giving Amelia no chance of a comeback, Lina started walking toward Simec. "Let's get some food!"

"Hey waiter! More food! NOW!"

"Get me another ten servings please!"

"Same here! MOVE IT!"

Lina and Gourry were shoveling piles of food into their mouths, and fighting over the last steak. As a violent silverware battle ensued, Lina using a fork and Gourry using a knife, Markus turned to the rest of the group who had taken refuge at another table. You didn't want to get elbowed in the face, or a fork stuck in your hand by accident. Zelgadis was drinking coffee, and Amelia was nervously fingering her wallet. She was paying using Saillune's treasury, and Xellos was sipping tea from a teacup. (Real manly Xellos, real manly XD) "Um…so…how much food do they eat, anyways?" Markus questioned as the waiter brought even more food, and the piles of plates got higher.

"Well, normally they stop when the plates reach midway to the ceiling. I'd say they have a few more plates to go," Zelgadis said, as casually as if he were talking about the weather.

Markus sweat-dropped. "You mean they eat that much food daily?" he said, shocked.

"Yeah, and I always draw the short straw to pay the bill!" pouted Amelia.

"Don't tell her, but she doesn't just draw the short straw by coincidence," Zelgadis whispered to Markus.

"Well Miss Lina uses up an enormous amount of energy when she casts spells, so it's really not that surprising that she has to eat that much to replenish her strength and energy!" Xellos explained as Gourry's hand almost got stabbed with a fork. "But Gourry, well, he just has an enormous appetite." Xellos and the gang sweat-dropped when Lina cried out in victory. She had gotten the last steak!

"Come on Amelia, cheer up," Zelgadis consoled. "At least be glad that Pokota isn't here."

Amelia sighed and got out her wallet. "I guess you're right, Mr. Zelgadis."

When all the dishes had been cleared, the whole gang sat down to discuss what to do next. "OKAY," Lina started out. "Here's the plan. So in order to become a knight, Markus here has to save a princess locked in a tower from a dragon controlled by a sorcerer. However, currently, there hasn't been any situation like that present, so…" (at this, Lina grinned and folded her arms) "…we make one!" Everyone fell over.

"But Lina, how do you expect to find a sorcerer, a dragon, a princess and a tower?" Zelgadis said in disbelief as he sat down again.

"I agree with Mr. Zelgadis. A sorcerer and a dragon together are hard to find," Amelia added. Gourry just snored, unaware of the planning that was going on around him.

"Hey! Wake up Jellyfish Brain!" Lina shouted as she smacked him with the bunny slipper.

"Huh? What? What's going on?" Gourry said, confused.

"Never mind Gourry. Just try to pay attention okay?" Lina didn't want to have to explain the plan again. "Anyway, to answer your question Zel, we'll fill in the roles. All we need is a dragon and a sorcerer. We can ask for Filia's help and-"

"Lina," Xellos cut her off. "Filia is a golden dragon, not a black dragon, that wouldn't work. Besides, she's helping with Val's school carnival and doesn't want to be bothered."

"Oh. Okay then. I guess we'll have to make a dragon, no big deal!" Lina said cheerfully. "Hey, how do you know that, Xellos?" Lina questioned playfully.

"Well, now that's a secret I'll never reveal to any of you." Xellos rubbed the back of his head and let out a nervous laugh. "Now what about that sorcerer?"

"Oh right, the sorcerer, well that's where you come in, Zel!"

"What! Now hold on, why can't Xellos be the sorcerer?" Zelgadis complained.

"It's because he's dressed like a priest, right? He can't be a priest and a sorcerer, right Lina?" concluded Gourry.

"That's right Jellyfish Brain! You catch on quick!" Lina said, impressed. Turning to Zelgadis she said, "Sorry Zel, looks like you're our sorcerer!"

"WHAT!" Zelgadis yelled, shocked. Seeing people staring at him he quickly sat down, defeated. "Fine. I'll do it," Xellos smirked.

"Miss Lina. I understand what you're trying to do, but I do see one problem in your plan," Markus said.

"Oh, and what would that problem be, shrimp?" Lina asked him.

"Well, the princess is heavily guarded at all times to prevent this very scenario from happening. She even has guards outside her room while she sleeps. There's no way that Zelgadis could get in and out without being seen by someone," Markus stated.

"Sure there is," Zelgadis said cunningly. "I can knock out the guards with a sleep spell and fly up to the princess's window. I can pick the lock and knock her out with a smelling cloth. If all goes well she won't even see my face. After that I'll slap a binding spell on her to keep her from escaping and then wait for Markus at the tower to 'slay' the dragon, and 'kill' me. At least, I think that's how the fairytale goes." Everyone looked at Zelgadis, surprised.

"Mr. Zelgadis, did you just come up with that plan right now?" Amelia asked.

"Yeah, so what?"

"Well, I guess you can be a pretty good evil sorcerer, Zelly! I certainly wouldn't have thought up that all by myself!" Xellos said jeeringly.

"I thought that I told you to stop calling me that!" Zelgadis shouted as he launched himself at Xellos, grabbed his throat and started to squeeze, channeling the Rod Tilt through his hands. Xellos screamed as the most powerful spell in shamanist magic hit him at point-blank range. "I-It was a joke!" he gasped out as he saw black spots in his field of vision.

"Zelgadis, let Xellos go this instant!" Lina yelled at him as she threw the closest object to her, which happened to be the centerpiece vase, at his head. Zelgadis let go with a grunt of pain clutching his head where the vase shattered upon impact. Xellos collapsed onto the floor, coughing, as he tried to get his astral body back to normal.

"Mr. Xellos!" Amelia and Gourry rushed over to support the monster as he stood up.

"Xellos, are you okay?" Gourry said, worried.

"I-I'm fine, Gourry. I'm a monster, remember? We heal fast!" he said cockily as he grimaced in pain. Amelia retrieved his staff from where it had fallen and he leaned against it as he sat heavily into his seat. Lina, wielding a chair, was currently beating Zelgadis over the head with it.

"You idiot! Why did you do that?" she yelled, accenting every syllable with the chair. Xellos sighed as all the glorious pain and anger washed over him, healing him faster then any spell could. Gourry had to pull Lina off Zelgadis to give him a break from the constant battering. Zelgadis turned and stormed out.

To the owner of the restaurant and the other people, it looked like a rock-skinned sorcerer had lashed out on an unsuspecting priest, got a beating, and ran. Lina and the gang got kicked out of the restaurant, literally, and walked back to their inn.

"My butt hurts," Gourry complained.

"SHUT UP!"

* * *

><p><strong>Poor Zelgadis. I will probably pick on him more than anyone else in this story, because it's fun! Will Lina's plan go off without a hitch? Find out in the next chapter! The more reviews and feedback I get, the quicker I will post chapters!<strong>

**Zelgadis: *Ice pack on his head* Why me?**

**Me: Because I said so! Now heal up in time for the next chapter post!**

**Zelgadis: *sighs* just read and review, readers. Make my suffering end!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Greetings dedicated readers! Xelfi4ever here with another chapter update! This chapter was so much fun to write! How will Zelgadis play his part? Find out now, on with the fic!**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own Slayers T.T**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Four: Go Time: The Plan in Action!<strong>

It was decided that nighttime tonight would be when they would put Lina's plan into action. After a restful sleep and a good breakfast Zelgadis stayed in the city and went upstairs to get his lock-picking tools and smelling cloth ready. Xellos had snuck out to take care of his monster business, and Markus was looking for a suitable tower. He found one a good seven miles away from the city. That was where Lina and Gourry were building the very realistic black dragon. Amelia was up in the tower setting weak magical enchantments to protect it from attack. She flew back down to the ground just as Lina and Gourry were putting the final touches on the dragon. "Enchantments in place Miss Lina, and the sun's getting lower and lower on the horizon."

"Great, Amelia! Gourry, let's get this dragon behind the tower, and start doing test runs! We need to make sure that all the parts function properly!" Lina said as she jumped into the dragon.

"Okay, Lina!" Gourry said as he, too, leaped into the dragon.

"Wait for me, Miss Lina!" Amelia cried as she jumped in.

The inside of the dragon was made of wood, and they would be controlling the movements from the dragon's stomach. Two levers controlled the dragon's feet, and two levers controlled its neck and wings. Up in the dragon's head was a platform with more levers controlling facial movements. This is where Lina would stand. She would be firing weak fireballs from the dragon's mouth to make it look like it was spitting fire. Gourry would be the legs, and Amelia would control its wings and neck. The brilliant part about this dragon though, was that it was made of the lightest wood and could fly with the help of a Levitation and Bomb Diem Wind spell. _Thank you, Zelgadis!_ The sorceress thought with a smirk.

"All right. Let's start with a simple walk cycle. Left, right, left, right. Got that, Jellyfish Brain?" Lina called to Gourry.

"Okay Lina!" Gourry yelled. Looking out the little window in the dragon's stomach, he started with the _right_ foot, and almost fell over as the whole dragon shook.

Lina fell off the platform. "Watch it, Jellyfish Brain! You could've toppled the whole dragon!" she yelled.

"Sorry, Lina! It's hard to control!" Gourry whined as he picked himself up.

"Oh come on, Gourry. It's just like when you played the dragon in that show, remember?"

"Oh, you mean that show about killing you. You know, the one where I was the main character. Right, Miss Lina?" Amelia said from below. _Until you decided to take over, that is_, she thought with a mental sigh.

"Exactly, Amelia!" Lina said. "Now come on, we only have a short amount of time before it becomes completely dark, and we still need to test out the flying mechanism. Amelia, let's get this thing airborne!"

"Okay Miss Lina!" Amelia shouted as she pulled a few levers. Slowly, but surely, the dragon rose into the air.

While the dragon was being built, Zelgadis ran though a final check of all of his gear. It included: a smelling cloth, a rope and a gag. He had been studying the rounds of the castle guards all morning and afternoon, and was ready for his contribution to the plan. _Darn it, why did I let them talk me into this? Oh well, I guess I should just get this over with,_ he thought with a sigh. He gathered up his gear, and, exiting the inn, walked along the path toward the castle.

When he got to the castle, he hid in some bushes. "Here goes nothing," he whispered, and cast a levitation spell. He chose one of the windows, and using a piece of his hair, picked the lock and silently dropped in. He closed the window and found himself in a hallway, with doors on either side. He ducked into the shadows as two guards passed. Letting his breath out, he slowly crept away in the opposite direction.

_Alright, the princess would probably be in the only room that has guards outside the door,_ he thought as he ducked behind a potted plant to dodge more guards. He peered his head out to see the door he had just described. _Pathetic,_ he thought. _Way too cliché_.

He slowly made his way up to the guards and knocked them both out with some well-aimed punches. (Why didn't Zel just break into the princess's room, you ask? Because the author thought that this story needed more action.) As soon as he knocked out the guards, he went to open the door, which needed a combination to open. Sighing, he took out a stethoscope and listened to the lock. It took him two minutes, but he finally managed to crack the code. Smiling to himself, he opened the door and stepped into the room.

He almost stumbled back from the sheer pinkness of the room. It was huge! The walls were a light pink, the carpet had pink flowers and hearts all over it, the drapes were a darker pink, and the bed was a shocking, almost blinding, bright highlighter pink. Not that Zel had anything against pink. Amelia did wear a beautiful pink dress when she was at the palace, but sometimes too much pink was pushing it.

He closed the door once he had regained his composure, and, hardly making any sound, he walked over the (pink) carpet, went over to the (pink) bed, and pulled the (pink) draperies aside. The princess lay, sleeping in front of him, in a (pink) dressing gown. Her fair blonde hair (with a pink streak in it) lay across the (pink) pillow like a waterfall. Zel slipped the smelling cloth (_not_ pink *whew*) from the satchel he was wearing. _Sorry about this, princess,_ he thought, and lifting the princess's head, he covered her mouth and nose with the cloth.

The princess's eyes opened wide with shock, and she struggled against the rock-hard grip that held her fast to the (pink) bed. Any attempts at screaming were discouraged by the cloth around her mouth, and she slowly lost consciousness.

Zelgadis sighed as the princess stopped struggling, and went limp in his arms as the knock-out fluid took effect. _Finally,_ he thought, annoyed. Sighing, he got the rope out of his satchel and bound the princess's hands and feet together. He then stuffed the gag into her mouth. _Now, to leave that note,_ he thought. He took out a dagger, and pinned a piece of paper to the bedpost with it. The note read, "Come to my tower if you want to see the princess again, I dare you. – Z"

Lina had come up with the note. The letters were cut out of random fliers and pasted on the paper. "That's always what people do for ransom notes," she had said.

Zel threw open the (pink) window and leapt out into open space, with the princess slung over his shoulder. He cast a Ray Wind spell, and flew off into the night, toward an ominous-looking tower.

He touched down inside the tower. Lina, Gourry and Amelia were waiting for him. "Finally," Lina whispered to Zelgadis as he set her down in a chair. "Is she drugged?"

"Yeah," Zelgadis said. "I'm not doing anything like that again," he added, and shuddered.

"What was it like, Zelgadis?" Gourry asked. "Sneaking into a woman's room and-," he got cut off as Lina whacked him upside his head.

"Shut up, Jellyfish Brain!" she yelled, and glancing at the drugged princess, lowered her voice. "Zel probably is too embarrassed to speak about it anyways," she added.

"So much pink…" Zelgadis said, and shuddered again. "It would give Xellos nightmares!"

"Poor Mr. Zelgadis!" Amelia cried.

"That princess's room was that bad?" Lina asked, shocked. Zelgadis just nodded his head.

"How's the dragon coming?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Great!" Amelia exclaimed. "We managed to make it fly!"

"Yeah," agreed Lina. "Until _someone_," at this she glared at Amelia, "decided to do a barrel roll! The inside of the dragon smelled like barf for at least two hours!"

"Hey, look!" Gourry exclaimed, pointing at the window. "It's almost, um… that time when the sun comes up… I think." Sure enough, the sun was rising.

"Let's get into the dragon, guys! Before Sleeping Beauty here wakes up," Lina said, looking at the princess. "Oh yeah, Zel?"

"What?"

"Hope you thought up an evil speech!" Lina said, and, casting a Ray Wind, flew out the window.

"Wait, what?" Zelgadis said, confused. "You never told me that! Damn it!"

"But Mr. Zelgadis, we thought you knew!" Amelia said.

"Don't feel bad, Zel. I didn't know, either!" Gourry said, and Amelia flew out the window, towing him behind.

"Mr. Gourry, you're heavy!" Amelia grunted as she set him down inside the dragon.

Back up in the tower Zelgadis sat down on the balcony railing. _How the hell am I supposed to come up with a speech, _he thought. Sighing, he got out a piece of parchment and a quill, and attempted to write up his speech.

* * *

><p><strong>Poor Zel! I really do love picking on him! I think he's scarred for life after his (pink) experience. Don't forget to read and review! Until the next chapter!<strong>

**Zelgadis: WHY ME! T.T**

**Xellos: Now that's a secret!**

**Me: Get out of the author's notes!**

**Xellos: Only you have the power to do that!**

**Me: And I can do _anything_ to you. *evil grin***

**Xellos: Well, I have to be going now! *phases out***


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey there readers! Because I got another review, here's an early chapter post!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers. If I did, then the series would be an epic live action movie by now!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five: How Do You Spell Fail: The Simec Army!<strong>

Morning broke over the Kingdom of Simec. Zelgadis woke up, and fell off the tower railing as he heard a very loud, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He sat up, rubbing his head. _The King must've found my note,_ he thought groggily, and picking himself up off the floor, went inside the tower. He hid in the shadows.

The princess was waking up. "Mf… mff, MFF!" she said, trying to speak around the gag. She started struggling against the ropes that tied her to the chair.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," said a steely voice from a shadowed portion of the room. "You might hurt yourself," the voice continued as it stepped out of the shadows. The princess's eyes grew wide as a beige cloaked figure came into view. The figure walked closer, and pulled the gag out of her mouth. His face was covered with a cowl and hood, so she could only see his eyes.

"AHHHHHHHH!" she yelled.

"Yes, I know I'm hideous but-"

"Where's my PINK!"

"Are you kidding me? You've just been captured, and all you can think about is the color _pink_!"

"Wh- who are you?" she asked in the voice of an angel.

"Zelgadis the evil sorcerer," the man said in a deadpan tone.

"Why did you kidnap me?" she asked.

At this, Zelgadis narrowed his eyes. "You don't need to know that," he said, turning around.

"It is impolite to cover your face in the presence of a lady," she said, trying to look dignified. This was quite hard to do, seeing as she was tied to a chair.

"You really want to see my face?" Zelgadis asked, raising an eyebrow and half- turning toward the princess. "Fine," he said, and turning around so he was facing her, he removed his hood and cowl.

The princess gasped in fright as his face was revealed. His hair was needles, and his skin was blue, covered in rocks.

"Horrifying, isn't it?" Zelgadis said, hurt by her reaction. He walked behind her chair, and cut the bindings off her hands. Her lower half, however, was still tied to the chair. He grabbed her chair, and dragged her over to a table. "Eat something," he said, and dumped a sack full of bread and cheese on the table. He then turned to go onto the balcony.

"Wait," said the princess, stopping him.

He turned around, annoyed. "What?"

"Your face, what happened? How come you're all stone?" she asked him. "It's scary!"

"Don't want to talk about it," Zelgadis spat. "You'd be wise not to ask about it ever again," he added, glaring at her and stalking off, drawing his hood and cowl over his face. Scared of her captor even more, she ate the bread and cheese in silence.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The king cried as he saw the open window and the note in his daughter's room.

The servants cowered. "Your Highness?" one of them asked, his voice cracking.

"Someone will pay for this!" the King yelled. The servants were shocked. They had never seen his Highness like this before.

"What shall we do, my Lord?" asked the captain of the guards (who of course, had a mustache).

"Send a message out to all of the knights," the King said. "This Z person will pay for kidnapping my daughter!"

Markus watched as the town crier came running out the palace doors. He started walking, trying to look dignified in his too-big armor. The town crier ran out of the gates, and into Markus. They both fell down, just like Markus had planned. "Are you alright?" Markus asked. "How come you were running so fast?"

The town crier got up. "The princess has been kidnapped!" he stated urgently. "The king wants a knight to go search for her!"

"Then, I must go!" Markus yelled. "I will save the princess!" he finished.

"Um… no offense, but you're thin and weak. Just the other day you lost a tug-of-war match with a Chihuahua. A CHIHUAHUA! What chance do you have over some full-blown knight? We don't even have Chihuahuas here!"

"As long as I have courage and justice on my side, I will never lose!" Markus said, quoting the lines Amelia had written for him.

"What sized coffin do you want, then?" the town crier asked, and went off to spread the news.

Markus waited for fifteen minutes, and then walked up to the palace gates. "I have come to save the princess!" he announced to the guards. The gates opened and he walked in.

"Aren't you a little young to be a knight?" the guard controlling the gate asked.

"I may be small, good sir, but I have justice and smartness on my side!" Markus said. "I will outfox this kidnapper and rescue the princess!"

"Good luck, kid. You're going to need it," the guard said, and waved him through.

Markus repeated the same thing with the guards outside the throne room doors, and again with the King himself. "Please sir, let me try?" he finished.

"You really want to get knighted that badly?" the King asked.

"Yes, Your Majesty-" Markus got cut off by his visor on his helmet falling shut. "What? How come it's so dark? I'm scared!" He started running around and finally crashed into a wall and fell. The King and his attendants sweat-dropped at this behavior. Markus's visor fell open again, and he said, "Oh, hey! I can see!" He got up. "So, do I get the job?"

A shepherd was watching the castle livestock, and he saw a kid in knight's armor flying out of the palace window, and landing in the pig pen. Shrugging, he went back to watching cattle.

"WHAT? He didn't give you the job?" Lina yelled. Markus had stumbled back to the tower, and was now nursing his bruised tailbone inside the wooden dragon.

"Who got it, then?" Amelia asked.

"Some bigger, stronger, dumber guy. His name was... Volun," Markus pouted.

"What? That gay guy ended up in the Simec Army?" Lina said.

"Mr. Volun… wasn't he the guy that hit on Mr. Gourry that one time?" Amelia asked.

"Yep," Lina said, "first cross-dressing attempt," she added. "Went _sooo_ well."

"Why don't we just defeat the other guys that come, until um… Markus is the only one left?" Gourry said.

"My Cepheid," Lina exclaimed. "Jellyfish Brain, you just came up with a plan!"

"I did? When?" Gourry asked innocently.

Everyone anime fell. "Right now, you dolt!" Lina yelled.

"Maybe all that thinking caused Mr. Gourry's brain to stop working?" Amelia said.

"That seems possible," Markus said. "But what about my situation?"

Lina grinned. "We just defeat all the knights, of course!"

"Alright!" everyone exclaimed.

"Now all we need is something to make tally marks with!"

A lone knight rode up the path to the tower at dusk. Zelgadis heard the hoof beats, and got up from his position on the floor. Lina had informed him of the revised plan. He walked over to where the princess was sleeping. Yanking her out of the chair, he put his sword to her throat. "It's show time," he whispered in her ear, and dragged her onto the windy balcony. The princess was so scared that she couldn't speak.

Zelgadis stepped on a stone, and lightning and dark clouds started swirling around the tower. "Dark Mist!" he said, and the area around the tower became cloaked in a dark fog. He then tied the princess's hands behind her back.

The princess gasped as this happened. "Wha—what are you doing?" she whispered.

"Setting the mood," Zelgadis said, and shoved her to the very edge of the balcony. "We'll see just how brave these knights really are," he finished.

The first knight was unmoved by the lightning, dark clouds and fog, and rode up to the base of the tower. "Reveal yourself to me, sorcerer! For I am the mighty and strong Volun!" he yelled up at the tower with his sword raised in the air.

"Mighty and strong Volun!" Zelgadis yelled down, clearing the fog around himself. "Gaze at the darkness around you. He paused to look down at the cue cards Lina had written for him. "You cannot hope to defeat me!"

"I will rescue the princess!" yelled the knight. He glared up at the shadowed figure. Just then, a bolt of lightning struck, illuminating the sorcerer's face. The knight screamed at the hideous face of stones.

"You mean, this princess?" Zelgadis said calmly, and pulled the princess in front of him, holding a sword to her throat.

"Princess!" yelled the knight.

"Sir Volun, help me!" the princess screamed.

"Do you have to scream that loud?" Zelgadis whispered, "and right in my ear too," he murmured, annoyed. He covered the princess's mouth with his non-sword hand, stifling the screams.

"I will make you an offer, _noble_ knight," he called down.

"I do not make deals with some_thing _as evil as yourself," the knight spat.

Zelgadis grabbed the princess and cast a Ray Wind spell flying down to hover above the knight. "You shouldn't have said that, Volun," Zelgadis threatened. His hair shaded his eyes.

It was about this time that Volun wet himself from sheer terror.

"Come forth from the black… abass… abise… um…"Zelgadis looked at his cue cards, confused. _I don't even know how to say this word. It's completely new to me._ He thought, confused.

"I think you pronounce it, abyss," the princess said, looking at the cards.

"Thank you," Zelgadis said. "Come forth from the black abyss, dragon," he finished. _What was Lina thinking? Did she think that this word would catch on?_ He thought.

Back in the dragon, Lina heard Zel say all of this. She didn't hear the last part, because she was rolling on the floor, laughing her head off. "Oh Cepheid! I can't believe Zel had to say all of that!"

"Miss Lina, let's go! Mr. Zelgadis gave the signal!" Amelia said.

"Oh, okay!" Lina said, getting up.

The knight looked around in fear, searching for this dragon. He heard a roar, and looked behind the sorcerer to see a dragon looming out of the darkness. Lightning flashed and the dragon roared and spit out a giant Fireball into the sky. The knight whimpered.

"Run, or fight, _noble_ knight," Zelgadis said menacingly and flew back up to the tower.

The princess screamed, "Sir Volun!"

"Evil fiend! Prepare to face your doom!" Volun yelled at the dragon.

In the dragon, Lina, Gourry, Markus and Amelia sweat-dropped as Volun ran toward them. "FIREBALL!" Lina yelled, and the spell flew out of the dragon's mouth, scorching the poor knight with a direct hit. "I always wanted to do that to that jerk!"

Ow…" Volun said, and fell down, knocked out with severe burns. Gourry then used the dragon's front right leg to kick the knight, and send him flying back to the castle. "That's what you get for hitting…_ on a guy_!"

Go Gourry!" Lina exclaimed.

"Huh," Zelgadis said thoughtfully. "Looks like your knight wasn't strong enough," he said, looking down at the princess, in his grasp.

"The Simec Army is large in number, you will be defeated, Zelgadis," the princess spat with venom.

Zelgadis gave the signal for Lina and the others to go back to their spot. As the dragon lumbered off he said, "We shall see."

Knight after knight came, and knight after knight got incinerated by the "dragon".

Around the one hundred knight mark, the princess finally got fed up. She interrupted Zelgadis's dragon speech that he had to say all one hundred times. "WHY DON'T YOU RUN BACK AND GET MORE KNIGHTS TO HELP YOU!" she screamed down at the current knight, who was dodging the fireballs that came from up above him, courtesy of the flying dragon.

Zelgadis, the knight and the dragon all looked at the princess in shock. Lina, in the dragon, recovered first and sent a Fireball speeding toward the knight. He dropped down, fried, the suit acting like the perfect conductor for heat.

About the two hundredth knight mark, the princess got tired of yelling. "Help, save me," she said with no emotion whatsoever.

"I'm surprised that you didn't get tired of saying that earlier," Zelgadis commented, looking over at the princess.

"When did you get tired of saying your speech?" she asked.

"The fiftieth knight," Zelgadis said. "I shouldn't have done this in the first place," he said with a sigh.

"Well, I'd say there's about… one hundred knights to go before the Kingdom runs out," the princess said. "I say I have a good chance of a rescue!" she yawned.

"Do you want to rest? We have been at this all night," Zelgadis asked. "It'll probably be awhile before anyone rescues you," he added.

The princess nodded her head. "Wake me up if a knight defeats your dragon, okay?"

"Sure thing," Zelgadis said. The princess walked into the tower, and fell asleep. Another knight rode up, and got scorched by Lina's Fireball. _Two hundred and one,_ Zelgadis thought, sighing.

"I'm tired of this!" Lina yelled as she torched another knight from inside the dragon. "When do I get to cast the Dragon Slave?"

"Not now, Miss Lina," Amelia said as she expertly maneuvered the dragon away from a spear.

Gourry maneuvered the dragon's feet to trample and finish off the knight. "Be patient, Lina," he said as Amelia landed the dragon and prepared for another onslaught of knights.

"I will not be patient!" Lina yelled.

"_Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows,_

_Buried in the flow of time is where your power grows,"_ she started chanting.

Gourry leapt up to the dragon's head platform and secured Lina's hands. "Get off me Jellyfish Brain!" Lina cried. "You'll—"

They fell off the platform and landed on the floor of the dragon. "…topple us you IDIOT!" Lina and Gourry started fighting in a dust cloud.

"Hey, guys, stop!" Amelia yelled, running over to the pair. Instead she got pulled into the fray.

Zelgadis ended up having to take care of the rest of the knights by himself, because of the fight going on inside the dragon.

* * *

><p><strong>Wow, this chapter turned out to be very long. Guess who finally gets a chance in the next chapter... Markus, it's your turn to shine! (Maybe...)<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Greetings readers! There was a problem with my internet connection, but I managed to fix it in time to keep up with my upload schedule! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and thank you to all the people who reviewed!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six: Showdown: Shrimp vs. Dragon!<strong>

After all the knights had been disposed of by the dragon, the last fifty by Zelgadis, the king finally agreed to let Markus have a shot. "But, I am coming with you!" he proclaimed. "I'd like to see this sorcerer and dragon for myself!"

Knowing that he couldn't get the King to change his mind, Markus reluctantly let him tag along.

Back at the tower, Zelgadis and the princess were having a chat while they waited for Markus. "Well, do you think anyone will rescue you now, Princess?" Zelgadis asked.

The princess was sitting on the bed, untied, with Zelgadis sitting next to her. "That depends on the next knight," she answered. "I don't think I'll ever get rescued."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Zelgadis said. "All I want to do is start looking for a cure for my body, and instead, I have to babysit a princess and play sorcerer," he mumbled.

The princess only caught the first part of Zelgadis's mumbling. "You weren't like this before?" she said, gesturing to his body.

"Nope," Zel said with a sigh. "Please don't talk about it," he added.

"I won't." An awkward silence fell over the room. "Do you know how to play chess?" the princess asked.

Zelgadis raised an eyebrow. "Indeed I do," he said, and walked over to his satchel and pulled out a chess board and game pieces. The princess came over to the table. "What color would you like?"

* * *

><p>Behind the tower, Lina, Gourry, and Amelia had set up a picnic in the dragon's belly. "I do hope that Mr. Markus comes soon," Amelia said as she munched on an apple. Lina and Gourry had finished their violent food battle, and were lying down on the floor, patting their stomachs.<p>

"Don't worry, Amelia," Lina said.

"Yeah. He's probably coming right now!" Gourry said.

* * *

><p>"Ha! I win again!" the princess sang, as she knocked over Zelgadis's king.<p>

"Come on. That's five times!" Zelgadis whined. He then heard hoof beats. _Must be Markus,_ he thought getting up.

The princess heard them as well. "Oh, that must be the last knight in the whole Kingdom!" she exclaimed and leapt up.

"Oh no, you don't," Zelgadis said, and pulled her back. "I'm going to have to tie you up again," he warned.

"The whole captive routine?" the princess complained.

"Yep," Zelgadis answered as he tied her hands behind her back and dragged her onto the balcony. He stepped on the stone and the same clouds, lightning, and thunder swirled around the tower. "This is the last one, so you need to play up the whole distress thing, alright?"

The princess just nodded.

* * *

><p>Markus saw the tower in the distance. "There's the tower, Your Majesty!" he said, pointing. His visor fell down for the tenth time, and he pushed it back up.<p>

"Then let us ride on!" the King exclaimed, and kicked his horse into a gallop.

"Wait, your Majesty!" Markus whined. "I should lead!" He also kicked his horse into a gallop. "Ow, ow, ow, ow," he said as the saddle hit his weak spot over and over again. (To ride a horse at full gallop, you have to stand up in the saddle so you don't… break anything)

They finally reached the tower. Markus, however, couldn't stop his horse and ended up crashing into the base of the tower, causing the princess, the king and Zelgadis to sweat drop. "I'm doomed…" the princess moaned, as Markus got up.

"Oh boy," Zelgadis said, and looked down at Markus, who was now standing with a too-big sword raised above his head at the base of the tower.

"Prepare… to… face… your—whoa!" Markus struggled to hold up the sword, but failed, and fell backward from the weight of the heavy weapon.

Zelgadis just sighed as Markus stood up, this time with a short sword raised above his head. "Prepare to face your doom, evil sorcerer!"

"Daughter!" the king yelled from behind Markus.

"Daddy?" the princess exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I've come to see this knight save you, dearest!"

Zelgadis's eyes grew wide. "Dammit!" he swore. "Fine then," he said louder. "I guess I will have to take on both of you." He grabbed the princess and put his sword to her throat.

"Daddy!" the princess screamed.

"Unhand her!" Markus yelled.

"The princess is yours. That is, if you can defeat me and my dragon!" Zelgadis read from his cue cards.

"We will take on this dragon!" the king yelled.

"Yeah!" yelled Markus.

"Come forth from the black abyss then, dragon!" Zelgadis yelled and thrust his arm up in the air.

The dragon came out from behind the tower, and shot a fireball into the sky. Lightning flashed, and dark clouds shrouded its body, so that all you could see was its head.

"epp…" Markus whimpered and hid behind the king.

"Knights first!" the king cried and pushed Markus toward the dragon. He then hid behind a tree.

The dragon then turned its head, fixing its red eyes on Markus. "Uh… nice dragon?" Markus said, his knees knocking. In response, the dragon shot a huge fireball at him. "YIKES!" he yelled and leapt out of the way. "Hot, hot, hot!" he yelled as the fireball grazed his back and incinerated the tree that the king was hiding behind.

The dragon then fixed its gaze on the king, and it turned, with a confused look on its face, toward Zelgadis. "Don't look at me, Lina!" he said. "I don't have any clue what he's doing here!"

Inside the dragon Lina, Gourry and Amelia shrugged. Lina then proceeded to fire a Fireball at the king.

"Your Majesty!" Markus cried and leapt in front of it. He braced for the impact, but opened his eyes to see a red shield coming out from his short sword, encasing both him and the king. "Wha-"

"_Let me help you with this, Markus,"_ a voice echoed inside his mind.

"Who are you?" Markus asked.

_"That's a secret!"_ the voice said playfully. _"Push the king out of the way."_

Markus did as he was told, and the King landed behind a rock, unharmed. "Now what?"

_"Fireball, duck!"_

Markus ducked and a fireball went sailing over his head.

Up in the dragon, Lina cursed. "Was that a shield that came out of his sword!"

"It looked like Mr. Xellos's shield!" Amelia exclaimed.

"Damn it, Xellos! Why do you always have to butt into other people's business?" Lina growled, and shot another Fireball at Markus.

In the tower, Zelgadis and the princess gasped as a black and red shield encased Markus and the king. "What the Hell!" Zelgadis exclaimed.

"Maybe I do stand a chance," the princess said, wide-eyed. "No knight has ever had a magic weapon like that!"

Markus dodged another fireball. _"Deflect the next fireball with your sword, back at the dragon,"_ the voice said. Markus nodded and slashed at the next Fireball. Like a Brass Rackets ball, it went sailing toward the dragon, burning a hole through the stomach, exposing Lina, Gourry, and Amelia.

"Plan B, guys, run for it!" Lina yelled and was about to take off when she was stopped by Zelgadis.

"Forget it, Lina," he yelled from the top of the tower. "Our cover's blown!"

* * *

><p><strong>Hey look! Xellos is back, yay! I just couldn't leave him out of the fun! Sadly, this fic is almost done, only one more chapter left. The grand finale is coming up! What will happen next? That's a secret! ^.^<strong>

**Xellos: Hey, that's my line!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Alright! Here is the final chapter of this very rewarding fic! it pains me to end this... alot. But the way it turned out I might just have to write a sequel... Anyways, enjoy this early post because my reviewers and readers are awesome**!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers**

* * *

><p><em>Like a Brass Rackets ball, it went sailing toward the dragon, burning a hole through the stomach, exposing Lina, Gourry, and Amelia.<em>

_"Plan B guys, run for it!" Lina yelled and was about to take off when she was stopped by Zelgadis._

_"Forget it, Lina," he yelled from the top of the tower. "Our cover's blown!"_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seven: On the Run Again!<strong>

The king came out from behind his rock. He looked at the dragon with the huge hole in its side. He then spotted Lina and the others. "The dragon… it's made of wood… and there are people inside it…" he started. Everyone braced for what was sure to come next. "…The sorcerer has created a man-eating, wooden dragon!" Everyone fell.

"Where'd he get an idea like that?" Amelia wondered.

"Not only has this valiant knight managed to save me, but he has also managed to save three helpless peasants as well!" the princess said cheerfully.

"Wait, you too?" Zelgadis questioned, shocked.

"Whoever said I was _helpless_?" Lina yelled.

"_PEASANT_!" Amelia yelled.

"Calm down, you two," Gourry said, restraining the sorceresses.

"Um… I hate to say this, but you still have to fight me, Markus," Zelgadis yelled from the tower.

"Oh, right… prepare to die, evil sorcerer!" Markus quickly recovered from the shock of the king's stupidity. He then ran at the tower, short sword raised.

Zelgadis flew down from the tower with the princess in tow. He set her down onto the ground. With Xellos controlling Markus's sword from the astral plane, Zelgadis's blade met his. The clash of steel against steel rang out across the clearing. "You have help, don't you?" Zelgadis grunted as he was pushed back.

"Yes. It feels like something is controlling my sword," Markus said. He got pushed back by Zelgadis's strength. They clashed once more. "Not to mention there's a _very_ annoying voice in my head telling me what do."

"What does this voice say?" Zelgadis leapt out of the way as Markus brought his sword in an upward slash.

"That's a secret," Markus said.

"Damn you, Xellos. Get out of the boy's head!" Zelgadis yelled. He started chanting the Ra Tilt, and sent the spell speeding toward Markus. It hit Markus, and did no damage.

"Wait… What?" Markus said. He then fell down because of his heavy armor. "ow…"

"What did you do to him?" the King cried, gasping.

"Um… this spell… weakens your opponent and um… makes their reactions more sluggish." Zelgadis said, ad-libbing. "Ra Tilt is Spanish for 'The Sloth'," he continued, bluffing.

"What an evil spell!" the princess cried from her position on the ground.

"Nice going, Zel!" Lina yelled sarcastically. "Now the plan is really shot to Hell!"

"Quiet!" Zelgadis yelled back. "This was all your idea!"

"Mr. Zelgadis, how's Markus going to be knighted now?" Amelia yelled. "That was extremely unjust of you!"

"Oh fine," Zelgadis said. "I will permit you to take off that armor, if it helps to defeat me," he said, turning toward Markus.

The King came up and freed Markus from his heavy armor. He then ran and cowered behind Lina, Gourry, and Amelia. "Hide me, peasants," he said.

"Hide yourself!" Lina spat.

"Miss Lina, the battle's starting!" Amelia observed, pointing to were Markus and Zelgadis were circling each other. Markus lunged, and Zelgadis fell.

"Ow, the pain, it hurts soooo much," Zelgadis said sarcastically. "You have defeated me," he continued, pouring ketchup onto his shirt, where Markus's sword had "stabbed" him.

"Oh Cepheid! Did I really hurt you?" Markus whispered.

"No, it's just ketchup," Zelgadis whispered back rolling his eyes, "Now play your part." He whispered a dark mist spell using the black fog as a cover. He got up and ran behind the tower, his silhouette clearly visible. The smoke cleared.

"Um… I have defeated the sorcerer and slain the dragon!" Markus cried, holding his sword up in triumph.

"You have saved me and the helpless peasants!" the princess said as Markus untied her.

"THAT'S IT!" Lina yelled. "THIS WAS ALL PLANNED, THERE ARE NO HELPLESS PEASENTS EATEN BY A DRAGON, AND ZEL ISN'T AN EVIL SORCERER! HE'S A FAKE! THIS WAS ALL FAKED!"

"AND I'M THE PRINCESS OF SAILUN!" Amelia yelled.

The king was silent for a moment. Then, he spoke, "Markus and all others involved, you are charged with conspiracy against the crown, kidnapping a member of the royal family, and…"

"Sexual harassment!" the princess yelled. "He wanted to _kiss_ me! Make _love_ to me!"

"…sexual harassment!" the king finished.

By this time, Lina had had it. A red glow surrounded her.

"Uh… Lina?" Gourry said meekly.

"Don't try and stop me, Gourry, Markus won't have a kingdom to defend when I'm through with it!"

"L-Lina don't be insane!" Zelgadis yelled.

_"Lord of the four worlds I call upon thee, grant me all the power you possess…"_ Lina chanted, her talismans glowing red.

"AHHH! Miss Lina, you'll wipe the Kingdom of Simec off the map!" Amelia screamed. Zelgadis hid behind the tower, and the King ran off in fright.

"_Darkness beyond twilight,_

_Crimson beyond blood that flows,_

_Buried in the stream of time is where your power grows,_

_I pledge myself to concur all the foes that stand,_

_Against the mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hands,_

_Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed,_

_By the power you and I possess… DRAGON SLAVE!"_

Lina sent the spell speeding toward the city, and it hit with the power of ten nuclear bombs.

In a small town a waitress saw the explosion. _Looks like my sister is at it again,_ she thought with a sigh, and continued setting tables like nothing was wrong.

What used to be the Kingdom of Simec was now a steaming crater. Lina stood, panting in the middle. "Man that felt so good!" she exclaimed.

Zelgadis got up from the pile of rubble he had gotten buried under, and Gourry was helping Amelia out of the rubble that used to be the dragon. "What the hell, Lina?" Zelgadis yelled.

"Um… hee…hee…guess I went a little overboard, huh guys?" she said meekly, rubbing the back of her head.

The sound of clanking armor got everyone's attention. The Slayers turned to witness the Army of Simec, now miraculously healed, running toward them, the king and the Captain of the Guards leading. "Markus, and all others involved, you are under arrest! The king bellowed.

Markus finally pulled himself up from the dragon wreckage. He saw the army and sweat-dropped. "Uh, Miss Lina?" he questioned.

"RUN!" Lina yelled and cast a Ray Wind spell, picking Gourry up in the process.

"Good luck, Markus," Zelgadis said, and cast a spell of his own, flying up to join Lina.

"A word of advice Mr. Markus: cross-dressing works wonders!" Amelia said, flying off.

"Wait, what?" Markus said. By then the army had reached the clearing. "epp…" Markus whimpered. With newfound speed and strength, courtesy of adrenaline, he took off for the trees.

Meanwhile, Lina and the gang had gotten far away from the city, and had landed in a thicket of trees. "I wonder if the shrimp will be alright," Lina said, referring to Markus.

"He'll be fine," Zelgadis reassured.

"What do we do now, Lina?" Gourry asked.

"What else?" Lina replied, grinning evilly. "Amelia, do you still have your make-up kit and dresses?"

"Yep! I always carry them around with me for emergencies like this!" Amelia said, pulling out a trunk from the infinity pocket in her cape.

"Perfect," Lina said rubbing her hands together. "Oh Gourry, Zel!" she yelled cheerfully over to the two guys.

Gourry and Zelgadis's eyes grew wide with fright, as the meaning of what Lina had just said sunk in.

"No, no, no, no, no…" Zelgadis moaned.

Gourry gulped. "L-Lina is that really necessary?" he stuttered.

Amelia held up the make-up brushes, and Lina held up the dresses. "CHARGE!" Lina yelled.

"FOR JUSTICE!" Amelia yelled.

Xellos appeared in his red dress. "Oh this will be quite amusing!" he said, using his girly voice.

"RUN!" Zelgadis and Gourry yelled and took off, Amelia chasing Zelgadis, and Lina chasing Gourry.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, I stand corrected, this will definitely require a sequel. *bangs head on keyboard* It looks like I will be torturing the Slayers gang alot more! (insert evil laugh here) ;p<strong>

**Thank you to all who reviewed, and all of you who read! You guys were the reason why this fic was a big success for me!**

**Thank you to my editors: Little Bro and Mom for puting up with all of my comma errors, grammer and plot mistakes... *sigh***

**FYI: Look for my next fic, Slayers: A Christmas Special coming up!**


End file.
